Advaita (Non-Duality) for Neophytes and the Clueless

Group 1 (“do somethings”)

Premise: What you are is not the body and mind, but rather LOVE, or GOD, or AWARNESS, or THE INFINITE, or WHATEVAS.

Thesis: The mind is full of thoughts which are bogus, fantastical, bullshit, made-up stories, nonsense, delusory, festering, perverted, malignant, twisted, warped, fabricated, and illusory.

Conclusion: Become totally obsessed by the thoughts by staring at them, examining them, challenging them, questioning them, turning them around, finding their shadows, and generally resolving them until all of the nasty thoughts go away and are replaced by happy and fluffy thoughts of puppy dog kisses and unicorns dancing on rainbows. These people are notable for attending satsangs, silent retreats, intensives, and generally “doing something” as a practice. They are mocked by the “do nothings” (see below). People wishing to make some $eriou$ cash in the advaita scene are well advised to get a mailing list of these people.

Group 2 (“do nothings”)

Premise: What you are is not the body and mind, but rather AWARENESS, or CONSCIOUSNESS.

Thesis: The mind is full of thoughts which are bogus, fantastical, bullshit, made-up stories, nonsense, delusory, festering, perverted, malignant, twisted, warped, fabricated, and illusory.

Conclusion: Since you are not the thoughts, no worries, ignore them (or don’t) because you’re not in control anyway and can’t even if you want to (or don’t.) Anytime one of the "do somethings" (see above) points out your shadows and erroneous beliefs just respond " 'who' cares?" These people are known for pontificating and bloviating about the non-necessity of doing anything and mocking the “do somethings” (see above). These people are generally slackers in real life and don’t have much ambition. E.g., they won’t clean their homes unless guests are coming over.

The "do somethings" and "do nothings" are in perpetual war, and even though they treat their born-again Christian or fundamentalist Jewish family members, neighbors, and co-workers with respect and joviality, they treat each other with utter contempt and disgust, hurling such invectives as "woo woo new-ager!" and "neo advaitan!" at each other, as drool and spittle sprays from their mouths.

Getting in between the "do somethings" and "do nothings" as they brawl is about as smart as trying to breakup a pitbull fight; you'll end up bloodied and perhaps missing a few digits on a hand. Avoid at all costs.

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